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Monday, 31 March 2008

Sunday, 08 July 2007

  • One week into the Summer:

    Done: World Lit Essay
                          Bio write-up for Ms. H

                                Doing: Extended Essay (word count:1292)

    To be done: English Oral
                                            Maths Revision + tutoring

    Shopping list : wide-brimmed hat
              Headband
                  Beach Shorts
                            Mid-way flare skirts
                                                 *Casual cotton one-piece dress(es)
          Ribbons
              Sunglasses
     *Flats
                                     Heels for high table dinner

Monday, 11 June 2007

  • Last night I had a dream, a very awkward one,
    yet at the same time so very frightening.

    In that dream, I understood the pain of jealousy and heartache
    it was the first time I ever fetlt such enormous pain
    on the grounds of love.
    I never thought I could feel such agony for him
    and in a dream too! How very strange.
    But I am glad it had only been a dream
    indeed I was relieved when I woke up and first remembered the dream.

    Do I love him?
    That is a question I cannot answer.
    I really do want to stop liking him, but I know that's difficult.
    It's impossible to forget my feelings for him.
    I know that even if soon I give up hope entirely and no long have
    that kind of feeling soaring in me,
    I will still feel differently around him.

    Oh, and I had not forgotten, the convo I shall have to have with him soon
    I will have to talk to him these days, because of work
    and how can I face him? After that dream how can I look at him?
    I do love you! sometimes I think I must love you.

    But at the same time I am so afraid. I can't let him find out.
    He must not know this, I can't stand him knowing my secret
    Maybe he already knows my feelings, and he's avoiding me?
    I don't know. The truth is, I am trying /hoping to avoid him too
    I can't stand being alone with him!
    Every time there's that occasion I just can't help but
    fall in love with him all over again.
    But I would sooner be deceived by his smile
    than to know the cruelty of the truth of his heart.
    Ha, he will not forgive me if he knew my dream.
    Oh but please, would you forgive me? Please do, please do.
    Remember.....

    It is all because I love you
    I love you oh-too-much

Sunday, 27 May 2007

  • I am feeling down.My maths tutor told me she's graduating
    which means that she won't tutor me anymore.
    She's such a good tutor! She's really nice and patient.
    My heart is heavy. Because my tutor reminds me
    of the future happiness I will one day be likely to have.
    But I guess one will have to move on...
    Tomorrow I am having my maths exam,
    so I must hang in there. May He give me courage and mental strength.

    I was very happy and hopeful just a few hours ago.
    But now I miss my tutor. And I can't stop thinking
    how we shall never meet again. It is true, is it not?
    In life, many people would step out of yours
    even though they were once actors in the play of your life.
    I cannot help but lament on the fact that many people
    you meet in life and have fun with could only be momentary visitors.
    And in the end, the memory, too, shall fade.
    So these people would become nothing, nobody again, to you.

    I must go on. With the hope that in the future I shall find
    these little happiness again, and that I shall again and again
    have the fortune to lament on the loss of them.
    But now it has dawned on me:
    In each new person, new friend that i meet,
    each person whom I shall share joys in life with,
    however momentary and unreliable these joys are,
    the shadow, or on a more positive note, the memory,
    of the people once beloved shall come to live.
    Again and again.

    Yes. This is enough. I am content.
    I know that even if now were not the time,
    one day we should still have to part.
    And that, it doesn't matter, not in a crucial way.
    For love lives in the heart, and doesn't not depend
    on the material opportunities of the outside world.
    Love is independent of material obstacles of all sorts.

Saturday, 19 May 2007

  • I am such a stupid girl...
    What is wrong with me??
    I knew it all along, since the beginning,
    Yet I am now what, sad? betrayed?
    Didn't I know this? Didn't I tell myself this already?
    Why am I feeling this way then...why?
    It was as if my death sentence came.
    It was, it was my death sentence..
    And I have no right to feel sad!
    I am so lost. Say anything, do anything, go anywhere...
    I don't care anymore.I was such an idiot to think of him
    I knew his truth, yet I lied to myself
    I thought this would work
    Till the lightening came and split my heart into two...
    I cannot bear it! I cannot bear your smile...I cannot look at you

    I sincerely hope that you would go away now
    go away from my heart, and never come back.

    I don't wanna fall to pieces

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dancing_sparkles

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    • Name: Elise
    • Country: Hong Kong
    • Birthday: 8/12/1990
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 3/7/2006

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